


Bar Talk

by Adrastiana



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 20:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adrastiana/pseuds/Adrastiana
Summary: Reno and Rude are drinking at a bar. Reno's being a bit picky about the girls. But we all have our limits.





	Bar Talk

**Author's Note:**

> From 2010! I got stuck on the title again as you can see. The working title was barscene.txt by the way. I think I went one half step up by changing it slightly.
> 
> I'd like to preemptively apologize for the pepperoni nipples. XD

"How about that girl?" Rude asked.  


"Nah, she has pepperoni nipples," Reno answered somewhat drunkenly.  


"So?"  


"Dude, that stuff freaks me out, ok?"  


"It's not like she can help it... But if you knew beforehand that she has them-"  


"I got that info secondhand," the red head answered.  


"She's pretty though...," Rude mused.  


"Pepperoni nipples," Reno reminded him, tapping the bald man's shoulder.  


"And here I thought nothing short of her being a corpse would deter you."  


Reno took a large gulp of his beer, spilling a bit on the table. "We all have our limits man."  


"How about her then?" Rude asked, discreetly pointing to a women sitting near the door.  


"No go," Reno answered, shaking his head.  


"Why not?"  


"Married."  


"Then where is her husband?" Rude asked.  


"He probably thinks she's at the quilting bee or something like that!" Reno laughed. "But I never get involved with married chicks. You know that. Nothin' but trouble."  


Rude nodded in agreement and sipped his drink. "What about that one?"  


"Well," Reno began. "I would but..."  


"But what?"  


"The clap," Reno answered bluntly. "And I hear she's got crabs too."  


"But she looks so clean..."  


"It's ones like that you gotta watch out for," Reno answered.  


"I never thought you'd get so picky."  


"What? Because I don't want to deal with pepperoni nipples, a jealous husband and weeks of antibiotics? You tryin' to kill me or something, Rude?"  


"You know I'd miss you too much," Rude answered, laughing softly.  


"Well then, what about you?"  


"Me?" Rude asked. "Well..."  


"Aww... Is Rudey being all shy again?" Reno teased.  


Rude didn't say anything back. He just took a sip of his drink in silence. Reno took that as a cue and smiled slyly.  


"How about her?" The red head began, trying to keep himself from snickering.  


Rude started to turn red. Why did Reno have to tease him about this here?  


"The chick behind the bar. With the big watermelon tits."  


"Reno that's Tifa..." Rude answered quietly. His face was now bright red.  


"Yeah," the red head laughed. "I know."  


"Did you have to say... that stuff about her chest so loud?"  


"Relax Rude. I don't think she heard us. Besides. What's the big deal? They're huge. I'm just pointing out the obvious. It's not like she herself hasn't noticed. I mean, she sees them everyday!"  


"Still..."  


Reno grinned. "Aww... You must really like her then huh?"  


Rude went silent again.  


And then, as if to add insult to injury, a very drunken man at the other end of the bar yelled, "Hey, Tifa! I think those guys over there in the suits wanna know if you got any watermelon!"  


Reno snickered and Rude sunk deeply into his chair, wishing he was invisible.  


_~Fin~_


End file.
